For the most part people drank a whole lot last year — overall people report drinking 14% more in 2020 than they did in 2019. And well, this turned out to be a pretty sweet turn of events for the alcohol industry, which saw enormous earnings from online sales, and at least early-on in the pandemic booze purchases increased by 57%.
This reasons are obvious of course. People were cooped up because of the pandemic and the political situation was a stress-drink-triggering nightmare. (Hey remember when a sitting president tried to stage an autogolpe? That happened.) But it wasn’t a pandemic party for every corner of the alcohol industry. It turns out that sales of Champagne (and other sparkling wines) dropped by 18% in 2020 and the sector is still hurting. Yikes.
Of course when you realize that good ol’ bubbly is closely associated with celebrating, and 2020 saw pretty much every large scale celebration you can think of canceled, you can figure out why. But on Thursday’s “The Late Show,” Stephen Colbert came up with a solution: Just make everything a celebration.
This funny concept came in the form of a fake commercial for the champagne industry, which urges people to make up for all the weddings and graduations and whatever else they can’t attend by celebrating “the little things” instead.
“Like doing all the dishes,” the voice over narrator says. “Finishing Bridgerton. Or cleaning your messy grout.”
“You break champagne to christen a new boat, no? So why not christen… a new mailbox. A new book. Or even a new bottle of champagne.”
In addition, the ad promises champagne makes a great self defense weapon, and can easily serve as bowling pins. Watch the whole clip from tonight’s episode of “The Late Show With Stephen Colbert” below.
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