Naughty and raunchy Valentine’s Day jokes to write in your card

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Valentine's Day cards can often be a great chance to show your partner you love them in a whole host of different ways.

Though some may prefer to express their affection with lengthy romantic ramblings or intensely passionate paragraphs, others may opt for something less serious, and more raunchy.

Picking the card can be difficult enough for some, what kind of tone do you want your card to be? What message do you want the front of it to send?

That's without even deliberating what to write inside. Producing the perfect Valentine's Day card can be considered an extremely delicate art form.

There is a time and a place for Shakespearean-style love letters, given the seriousness much of the past year has been marred by, your significant other may prefer a more light-hearted card.

Luckily, we have helped collate some of the naughtiest, funniest and crudest messages to put inside your cards.

Rude Valentine's Day jokes

1. Is that Cupid’s arrow in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?

2. Do you know the real meaning of Valentine’s Day? Well, I’m gonna show you tonight, over and over and over…

3. Valentine’s Day is about to become a religious holiday, because you’re gonna be screaming, “Oh God!” all night.

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4. Rose are red, Violets are blue, meet me at Specsavers for a right seeing to.

5. I like your style I like your class but most of all I like your ass.

6. I love you around the clock, I love your body, your mind and your soul, And not just your massive… heart.

If these kind of raunchy messages aren't your thing, maybe you'd prefer to demonstrate how much you love your other half with a cringe joke to make them groan…

7. What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine’s Day? "I'm stuck on you!"

8. Why do skunks love Valentine’s Day? Because they’re scent-imental!

9. What did one magnet say to the other on Valentine’s Day? I find you very attractive!

10. What did one fungus say to the other on Valentine’s Day? There’s so mushroom in my heart for you!

  • Valentine’s Day

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