DEAR DEIDRE: EVERY time we have a minor disagreement, my partner runs off to the pub and doesn’t return for a few days.
Then he’ll suddenly pitch up in his dirty clothes, stinking of stale beer.
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After a few hours, he’ll act as if nothing has happened.
We are both 30 and have two kids.
Before we had them, he would come back a few hours after going off, but now he does this disappearing act.
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He also stews in silence if I tell him he hasn’t washed a dish properly, or he’s left the top off the jam.
Any slight criticism and he storms off. My parents think I should get rid of him.
DEIDRE SAYS: This is your relationship, not your parents’. But obviously they are concerned.
If you love him, find a quiet moment to tell him you are worried about his drinking.
The way he runs away from even slight criticism suggests he may have witnessed something distressing as a result of an argument, maybe as a child. Maybe his parents argued before splitting up.
To break the mould, try counselling. My support pack How Counselling Can Help explains more.
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