Are YOU dating a loser? Elegance coach reveals the seven warning signs that show you’re with a ‘low quality guy’ – from having limited interests to expecting you to split the bill
- School of Affluence founder Anna Bey shared seven signs to avoid dating a loser
- Posting on YouTube, advised against men who expect to go 50/50 in relationship
- Geneva-based vlogger said low quality men think commitment is inappropriate
An elegance coach has revealed the seven signs to look out for when dating to avoid wasting time with a ‘low quality man’ – including lack of commitment, unreliability and expecting to go 50/50 on bills.
Anna Bey, who lives in Geneva, boasts over 947,000 subscribers on YouTube, where she shares self-help videos for infiltrating high society, living a feminine lifestyle and having good etiquette in posh settings.
Having married her wealthy husband during lockdown, the School of Affluence founder decided to share a video detailing things to look out for when dating to avoid losers based on her own personal experiences.
Among the signs of a low quality man is someone who lacks intelligence as well as an individual who enjoys going to parties every weekend without his girlfriend – so, have you noticed any of the signs in your partner?
Anna Bey (pictured), who lives in Geneva, has revealed seven signs women should look out for to avoid dating a low quality man
1. IF HE EXPECTS TO GO 50/50 IN THE RELATIONSHIP
Anna explained that a lot of women are being desperate and wasting time on the ‘wrong type’ of man, but added that her video can help women to reflect on their own self-worth.
Anna said: ‘You’re dating a loser, if he expects you to go 50/50 in the relationship with him or if he wants to split the bill with you.
‘Society is not equal for men and women first of all. We are not 100 per cent equal and we can never become equals simply because biologically we are not built equally.
‘Men have a certain advantage biologically than women, where as women, we are the caretakers and the ones who carry the child. We might never have the equal opportunity to have the same career or earn the same amount of money.
‘Plus, in the job market women tend to earn less than men on average. It’s just the sad reality, even though things are changing.
‘Not only that, women also have different kinds of expenses than men. We actually spend more to keep ourselves attractive and we’re attractive because men want us to be attractive.
‘Women spend more on clothes, sanitary and beauty products than men. So if he wants to go 50/50 in the relationship that shows he doesn’t want to step into the masculine role plus he is not a provider and might not even be generous.’
2. IF HE MAKES YOU FEEL WEIRD OR CLINGY FOR WANTING COMMITMENT
Anna said a low quality man is likely to make a woman feel like she’s being inappropriate when she asks for commitment
Anna explained commitment can be agreeing to an official relationship, getting married or deciding to have children.
She said there are many men who make women seem like they are a psychopath for wanting devotion.
‘I’m not saying it should only be the way us women want it to be, if we want to give birth tomorrow it doesn’t mean that it’s fair,’ Anna said.
‘But there has to be a way where we meet half way. This is a disadvantage of being a woman, we have a body clock to think of and can’t just spend ten years waiting for him to finish clubbing and then maybe he’ll decide if he wants to marry you or not.
‘There are of course valid and reasonable situations where sometimes you do need to give someone a little bit of time and space, but this is where I’m talking about meeting half way.
‘Don’t let it just be how he wants it and don’t let it just be how you want it.’
3. IF HE IS FLAKY, GHOSTS YOU, VANISHES OR IS UNRELIABLE
Anna said women should avoid men who have a habit of ghosting and repeatedly trying to cancel plans last minute because he’s probably not that into you
Anna said: ‘There is no excuse for a man to be unreliable or flaky. Rule number one in dating is if he doesn’t keep his promises, is unreliable or ghosts you – one time, OK… things happen. Second time, bye.
‘Ladies, you don’t deserve to be with someone who cancels on you last minute for basically no reason or is repeatedly doing this as part of his behaviour.’
The elegance coach said many women have experienced men who fail to deliver on their promises, while excepting their behaviour because either they like him or haven’t got anyone else who is interested in them.
She continued: ‘All these promises came because he had an agenda, he wanted to sleep with you. If a man is inconsistent, I really don’t believe that he is that into you.
‘A man who is in to you, he is going to call you. He is going to make an effort – climb mountains and walk on seas in order to see you, even if it’s a bit difficult right now.
‘Yes, it’s difficult to meet high quality men because men are so spoiled today. It is truly a challenge but worse is settling for less. I’d rather be single than be with somebody who is really not up to the level that I think I deserve to be treated.’
4. IF HE LACKS DEPTH: NO INTERESTS EXCEPT FOOTBALL, DRINKING AND VIDEO GAMES
Anna said it’s important to find someone who you have things in common with and therefore avoid men who lack depth (file image)
Anna said how a man lacks depth can vary but there are stereotypes, such as men with limited interests.
She admitted that she’s met many of them, saying: ‘I think we can all say that it’s not very attractive and I don’t really know what you’re going to have in common with each other.
‘Think about what are you going to be talking to this man about for the rest of your life if you become married.
‘I think life is too short to spend life with the wrong person, make sure you find someone who you have things in common with.’
5. IF HE LACKS ANY FORM OF BASIC GENTLEMAN’S SKILLS
Anna said basic manners can be an indicator if a man is or isn’t a gentleman, with opening doors and offering his jacket among signs to observe
Anna said: ‘This is very universal and we don’t even have to pay attention to cultures. I think holding out the door for a woman rather than throwing it in her face is basic manners all men know about.
‘Or for example, you’re walking next to the man and it’s a little bit chilly. You’re wearing a short sleeve top and he doesn’t offer to give his jacket to you.
‘One thing I see a lot, is a man who is so nonchalant and doesn’t really care about his woman. He walks in front of her, he doesn’t wait for her and doesn’t even look back to see if she’s still behind him. So rude and not gentleman whatsoever.
‘Small things like that really show if a man is a gentleman. Also when a man is selfish in bed that’s no gentleman, especially because physically how we’re structured the woman has a tougher card to play with than the man.’
6. IF HE STARTS MANIPULATING YOU
Anna explained how men might start labelling women a ‘gold-digger, b**** or materialistic’, when they decide to start setting boundaries in the relationship to reclaim aspects that seem unfair.
‘I think it is a warning sign. If a man starts acting aggressively when you start setting fair boundaries, I think you need to be a little bit cautious with what you’re dealing with,’ Anna said.
‘Potentially this could be a man that you should be stepping away from. There are men who are just narcissistic, selfish, defensive or lack ability to do any form of change within themselves.
‘I don’t know if that’s worth building a future with. That could be a situation where you have to choose yourself and your own needs first. There are men who are willing to meet you half way and fine with certain boundaries in a relationship.
‘They aren’t expecting you to be a door mat, do everything for him or be all about the way he wants things to be. Be careful ladies.’
7. IF HE IS STILL A PARTY BOY
Anna advised against being in a committed relationship with a man who wants to go out clubbing every weekend with his friends.
She said it’s different aged 19 or if you’re both in that lifestyle, but unacceptable in your late twenties and upwards, saying: ‘If he has such a strong need to be Mr Party Boy, I don’t really know what you’re doing with him.
‘It’s a bit strange that if someone is in a relationship and still needs to be doing all that. It’s a warning sign. But of course people are different.
‘Think about if you are being treated the way you deserve, are you setting fair boundaries and are both of you meeting each other half way.’
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