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In our exclusive shoot, Amanza Smith opened up about her struggles since her children's father and former husband, NFL player Ralph Brown, walked out of their lives.
Amanza told OK! she's started a search party to find Ralph after he suddenly disappeared in 2019, leaving her children Noah, 11, and nine-year-old Braker heartbroken.
"When we first started filming, I was in a situation where the kids would spend one week with me and the other with their dad because we had joint custody," she told us.
"We had a great relationship and he was an amazing father.
"It had been that way for eight years since we got a divorce when the kids were aged one and two.
"Then we were about three weeks into filming, he dropped them off at school and just never came back, so they were with me full-time.
"We didn’t know what had happened to him or when he’d be back. I didn’t want to say all of this at the time because I didn’t want to throw him under the bus if he came back and there had been some emergency.
"But seven months into filming, it hadn’t changed. There’s a specific scene in the last series where I’m 20 minutes late, but what no one sees is that I was bawling my eyes out in the car because I’d been at the courthouse fighting for custody of my children.
"Half the time in my scenes I was falling apart on the inside."
And Amanza added that she is on a mission to find her former husband of two years.
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She told us: "I’ve now started a search party.
"I want to find him and need answers. His family say they don’t know anything. So I’ve got my own people looking and I’m on a mission to find him.
"My son has said if he turned up now he wouldn’t want to go with him. He says he doesn’t think his dad loves him."
The real estate agent, who found fame on the second series of the Netflix reality show, revealed her husband's disappearance has been "traumatic" for their two children.
"The first seven months I was rocking them to sleep every night and wiping their tears," the 44-year-old explained.
"I had to answer their questions without any real answers. My best answer is that their dad might be going through something.
"One night one kid would cry themselves to sleep, the next night it would be the other one.
"Then I would cry myself to sleep. But most recently, when I decided I had the mental capacity to deal with it all, it hit me hard.
"I laid in bed for three days and my assistant had to look after the kids."
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