If you’re a fan of the Bachelor franchise, then you’re almost certainly familiar with the work of “Reality” Steve Carbome.
The blogger/investigative reporter somehow manages to get the inside scoop on every season of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette, and his detailed spoilers are beloved by some viewers and dreaded by others.
But over the past few weeks, Reality Steve has become a part of the drama surrounding the show in ways that he likely never anticipated.
Demi Burnett, a fan-favorite contestant from Colton Underwood’s season recently accused Carbone of inappropriate behavior, including an “unwanted and unprompted sexual advance.”
She claimed that the 45-year-old had shared details of a graphic sex dream he had about her and outed her as bisexual in one of his blog posts.
Steve says he reached out to Demi to apologize privately, and he also posted a public apology on Twitter.
“I had no idea at the time that conversation made you feel that way,” he began.
“I am apologizing now knowing how uncomfortable I made you feel. I crossed boundaries I didn’t think at the time I was crossing,” Carbone continued.
“I did not know this until today. So for that, I hope you can accept my apology.”
Unfortunately, Carbone squandered whatever goodwill he might have accrued as a result of his apology when he declared on his podcast a few days later that he’s immune to cancelation due to the fact that he doesn’t work for a corporation.
The stance struck listeners as unnecessarily boastful, and many pointed out that he’s not above suffering social or professional consequences simply because he’s self-employed.
So now, Steve is clearing the air once again, and this time, he’s vowing to change his ways.
“Going forward, I’m not gonna have any sort of personal relationship with these contestants,” he told his audience this week.
“Because even the times I’ve tried to speak to them in a ‘looking out for you’ way, helping them maybe avoid disaster, etc, it backfires more often than not,” Carbone continued.
“I need to draw clearer lines that these are people I’m reporting on not people I have relationships/friendships with.”
Steve went on to say that his status as one of the internet’s top sources of Bachelor-related content “prevents any REAL social relationship from happening” and “prevents genuine behavior, meaning, I can’t be sure if someone actually WANTS to talk to me or not.”
“I’ve learned that my intent doesn’t matter,” Carbone continued.
“The only thing that matters is how people felt in the aftermath and what they took away from it.”
The blogger added that his initial response to the situation was woefully ill-advised.
“I should’ve taken longer to process,” he said, adding that the earlier tweets were “rushed, not well written, and interpreted poorly,” as well as “wrong. Just wrong.”
“I was totally caught off guard, and I wanted to respond quickly so I didn’t look like I was trying to duck responsibility or not care about her feelings,” Carbone continued.
“Had I taken a moment, I could’ve said I need to respond simply to her feelings, put mine to the side, this is not about me, this about her. I totally get that.”
He went on to explain the Demi situation in greater detail, revealing that he had only known Burnett for “about a month” at the time of their conversation.
“I don’t know her deeply, she doesn’t know me deeply. Which makes the conversation I had with her all the more cringey. 100%,” Steve wrote on his website.
“But, I’m not someone who wants to make a girl, or anyone, feel uncomfortable,” he added.
“At the time the Demi situation happened, I was in a relationship. I also don’t have a track record of cheating on partners, going behind peoples back, etc.,” Carbone continued.
“The conversation with Demi, however cringey, was not an attempt to get her in bed. It was not an attempt to sexually manipulate her.
“It was me having a ‘hey that’s crazy’ conversation with someone who a couple weeks earlier said on her podcast she thought I hated her.”
Burnett has yet to respond to Steve’s latest efforts to clear the air.
But regardless of what happens next, it seems Carbone is learning the hard way that he’s not as immune to cancel culture as he previously thought.
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