Kody Brown: There’s No Spark! I Don’t Wanna Touch Meri!

The very sad state of Kody and Meri Brown’s marriage was once again placed on prominent display this past Sunday niight.

Fresh off an episode during which Kody made it clear he hasn’t been sleeping with Meri for awhile, the couple tried to rekindle some romance on the latest installment of this TLC hit,

And — spoiler alert! — it didn’t go very well.

“I’m actually really excited to hang out with Kody a little bit today,” said Meri to the camera prior to actually having a date with her husband in honor of their 30-year anniversary.

“You know, I don’t know what we’re going to do — we’re just going to kind of wing it, but I’m excited to spend some time with him, honestly.”

This special occasion took place early on in the coronavirus pandemic, so options were limited for the spouses.

Kody and Meri ended up getting take out and settling in for a picnic, which was anything but cozy and/or intimate.

In a confessional, Kody said the pair’s union — which he previously said started to “dissolve” after Meri’s catfishing scandal nearly six years ago — has been troubled for ages now.

“Meri and I had problems like this long before Janelle even came into the family.

“But the catfishing thing was what really woke us up to the state of our situation,” said Kody, referencing a period of time in 2015 when Meri tried to date outside the marriage.

“And we went a couple of years, a lot of counseling, figuring things out, and as we went through this process, I’m looking for a spark — something to initiate some form of desire for a relationship with each other.

“And in this time, it has never manifest.”

Kody and Meri got hitched way back in 1990.

However, they divorced in 2014 so that Kody could marry Robyn and legally adopt her kids from a previous relationship.

From there, Meri went online and thought she had met a potential mate… only to learn she was the butt of a cruel joke and had actually been flirting for weeks with a woman.

There’s been tension ever since, and barely any romance at all between the reality stars.

Reflecting on their relationship, Kody told Meri he didn’t really think they missed one another. Not really.

“I think we miss the idea of us — we don’t miss each other,” he explained, prompting this response from his first spouse:

“Speak for yourself. I do have a strong draw to you, but I do not act on that because I know how you feel. I can’t make you care for me. I can’t change that.”

Meri has been saying this sort of thing for awhile, yet has also insisted she’ll never walk away.

Opening up in a confessional interview, Meri said she had tried initiating romance with her husband. She really has.

“He has said to me, ‘You just need to make it known. You need to flirt with me.’ … And so I try those things and he backs off more, so I back off more. I was like, ‘Oh, that didn’t work. That was uncomfortable.’

“But at the same time, like, I want to keep putting myself out there because this is what I want. I’m not giving up.

“I’m not walking away.”

Later, Meri told Kody that she was “waiting” for him to show some interest, and he just destroyed her in response.

“I’m not comin,'” said Kody, who went on to say Meri hadn’t “made an effort” in their relationship, despite her being the one that wanted it.

Asked Kody to producers:

“She’s not making any effort. I’m not making any effort. Where do you think that puts us?”

Uhhh, as two people who shouldn’t be together? That’s our take at least.

“She wants to be loved romantically — then there has to be a spark for that. And then she’ll get from that, she will receive romance, love and a full marriage and sexual relationship,” added Kody in a confessional.

How dare Meri want love from her husband, right?!?

Because he’s a stubborn, sexist A-Hole, Kody acknowledged all these issues… emphasized he was done trying with Meri… and also left all responsibility up to Meri when it comes to their future.

“My discussion with Meri right now isn’t about me telling Meri that she has to have a divorce with me, that she has to leave. I’m not doing that — I will never do that,” he told viewers.

“My faith doesn’t allow me to, my conscience doesn’t allow me to.

“And because I haven’t done that, there’s always a chance that we might actually get back together into full fellowship.”

Somehow, Kody managed to become even meaner after saying all this.

“I’m sitting here with Meri going, ‘I’m finally out of the anger phase. I’m finally out of the bitterness. Now how are we going to do this right?’ And Meri’s like, ‘Well, you’re going to have to love me.’

“And I’m like, ‘Yeah, well, be lovable,'” he said to cameras.

My goodness, dude.

Speaking to Kody, Meri eventually grew emotional, telling him how she felt when she received just any simple act of physical touch.

“Do you know that every time you put your hand on my hand, how I feel? I just wish you knew,” she said, wiping away tears.

Despite the rejection, Meri told Kody that she wanted to try and kiss him, just to see how he’d react.

“Oh, my ranting actually gets you excited?” he asked.

“No, just sometimes I just feel like kissing you,” she told him

At that, Kody ended the worst anniversary outing ever – without a kiss — and said twice;

“Happy anniversary, Meri.”

“Happy anniversary, Kody,” she replied.

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